One of the small disappointments of my time in seminary at Regent College—there weren’t many, but there were a few—was that Larry Crabb did not succeed Eugene Peterson as professor of spiritual theology when Eugene retired. That might seem odd, but it was announced in chapel that Larry would be taking Eugene’s position, and then it just . . . never happened. One of the joys of our time here at VSF was getting a second chance to learn from Larry and his wife, both here and at the School of Spiritual Direction. I learned much from his teaching, both his content and his method; as we’re talking about detachment in this season, it’s worth noting that a particular sort of detachment lay at the heart of his approach to teaching, counseling, and leadership. It’s not one I’ve ever been able to manage, alas, which may be why I was blessed most of all by Larry’s honesty about his failures in life and ministry and his frustrations with God.
At the top of that list is a comment that still sticks with me for how powerfully it resonated with my own experience. I can’t tell you the context, but I remember Larry expressing his exasperation at God for not being as concerned about Larry’s holiness as Larry was and thus not giving him victory over his sinful behaviors on Larry’s preferred schedule. That wasn’t a new thought for me; I’ve been wrestling with that issue for many years now; but his clarity and forcefulness spoke of a man who had been wrestling with it for many, many more. Does it seem strange to you that I found that, and still find it, comforting and encouraging? True, it suggests strongly that I won’t find an end to that struggle in this life; but more importantly, it tells me this struggle doesn’t mean I’m on the wrong road.